A Tale of Two Cities
Okay so I have a teeny weeny confession to make…after months of staying in Lagos with promises that had failed to materialise into my becoming Consultant Toks, I decided to go back to Social Worker Toks.
Upon my return to London one mildly cold day in January, I had mistakenly made the assumption that we would be picked up by my brother as per usual. After all I had spoken with mother dearest prior to take off and asked her to alert my brother that we would be arriving as scheduled! Alas I failed to alert him to when that scheduled time was consequently resulting in me having to navigate myself and a tired four year old and four extremely heavy baggage at the mercy of those I henceforth call ‘Heathrow Touts’. To proclaim that I was ripped off by a fellow country man of mine would be a gross understatement! So my ‘Welcome to London’ was such a sorry affair that I spent the next four days indoors (that and the fact that my body was now used to double digit temperature) before I could dare to venture out.
Now although I did not feel my decision to return to UK to possibly work for a few months to be a failure, I did feel defeated that I had not quite conquered Nigeria the way I had planned. Fortunately for me (okay so I knew I was lying to myself about the length of my stay when I only packed one of my corporate dress and left all those other dresses behind) I had fail to factor the fact that the UK is going through a recession. That’s old news you say! Oh yes I was still residing there when the news of recession first broke out whenever that was! But I was immune to it at that time as shortly after receiving my General Social Care Council registration, which enabled me to claim the very much coveted ‘Social Worker’ title, I had managed to bag myself not just one but two Locum positions within a period of one month!
Yet in my month of ‘returning home away from home’ suddenly it was me calling all the same employment agencies only to realise weeks later none had called me back, let alone invited me to go for any job interview! That and the news that the only favourite place I had left in London, the Haagen Dazs Café was now close (sorry I need a moment of silence…this is still very painful news and very raw for me to deal with) was the first time I really comprehended the hard hitting effects this recession, but mostly the drastic and senseless ‘cuts’ being pioneered under the leadership of the Conservative and Lib Dem was having on the ground.
Not a problem I decided! The calls I needed to be making were not to those employment agencies but to the many contacts I had amassed during my first forage of Lagos. So I gladly hop footed it back to the crazier home that ironically makes more sense than the one I had spent most of my life within. Whilst my first encounter back in London, sadly at the hands of a fellow Nigerian, was so negative it contributed in sending me into a mild depression. In contrast my first dealing with another fellow country man when I landed back in Lagos was a perfect example of trying to be your brother’s keeper (definitely a story to be told another day). So here I am back in Lasgidi and already making considerable strides to conquer this Mega City that is Lagos. No Shaking Baby!
Becoming the Change…Part 2
Okay so the reason for this splitting my second Blog Post in two is simply because I really just wanted that second article officially published and because two News stories have dominated my week and both are related to the death of two young people with two different cultures and belief systems.‘I (a)M POSSIBLE’
Mohamed Bouazizi 
Claudia Aderotimi
I am going to start with Claudia as I am able to relate with her story more and because her story helps me to remember my past whereas Mohamed’s story which although is more remote to my previous existence is actually one that I hope will help to shape my future.
Claudia Aderotimi was a very stunning looking young lady but presently she is in fact the ‘butt’ of many internet jokes…yes its a bad joke but the pun is very much needed because the sad reality is that this beautiful young sister of mine wasted her life because of her desire to change her body shape in the aspirations to becoming a Video Chick of all things!!!
Now as strange as it may seem but I relate to Claudia’s story because it is a painful reminder of the damage I believe exposure to the Western culture is having on British Nigerians. In discussing the news with a friend he pointed out that this “don put her mama inside sh*t” (her death will cause undue embarrassment and blame solely on the mother’s head) as “u wan tell me say her mama no go know about dis” (mothers are in charge of their children and their whereabouts). Well his assertions reminded me of when I was her age and whilst I was not aspiring to becoming a Video Chick (more a Psychologist by day and Stripper by night…yet another story to be told another day) I was very much living the British life. I remember a particular incident in which I wanted to attend a Pool Party organised by DJ Tim Westwood and knowing no way in hell would my mother allow me, I promptly lied to her that I was travelling outside London.
Now ALL teenagers/early adults lie to their parents, heck on my ‘Summer before Suddenly’ trip to Lagos, my cousin that took me to the Dbanj show had lied to her parents that she was taking me to her University in another state whilst we spent the whole weekend at her boyfriend’s apartment 10 minutes drive from her family’s house! But I can only imagine the lies that Claudia would have told her mother and family about her trip to ‘Yankee’ or the even scarier thought that her mother fully knowing Claudia’s dreams and aspirations had fully supported this trip. You see I relate to Claudia because when I look at her I see ‘a friend’; ‘a cousin’; ‘a somebody I know’ and as a mother of a young girl the fear of my daughter’s exposure from growing up in a Western culture resulting in such a tragic headline as this (as extreme as it is) has reaffirmed that taking her to Nigeria was definitely the right action.
I am also talking about Mohamed Bouazizi because whilst his name has not been splashed on the papers or talked about as much within the Nigerian online community as Claudia has been…his story holds so much more significant to myself (and I pray to Nigeria also).
As I write this post
Hosni Mubarak President of Egypt for the past 30years has resigned and the reason for that can be attributed to Mohamed Bouazizi. This 26 year old Tunisian man committed suicide by setting himself on fire on December 17, 2010 in protest of the unjust dealings of living his entire life under a dictatorship regime. This single act by an (extra)ordinary young man duly prompted a REVOLUTION not only in his Country but in many other countries across Northern Africa and the Arab world.
This has prompted many discourses in the Nigerian press to merely dismissivey ponder on the reasons why Revolution could not happen in this country fondly remembered as the ‘Giant of Africa’. Whilst Nigeria has had ‘democratic elections’ following the return to Civilian rule 12 years ago, the same party PDP have ‘won’ subsequently having been in power ever since and quite frankly this is the reason Nigerians can no longer feel proud about their country. To those who suggest that Revolution knows or has no place in Nigerian society I would just like to remind them that just a few weeks ago, the World would have simply stated that the forced resignation of Hosni Mubarak through relatively peaceful protests by the Egypt people was an IMPOSSIBLE feat but yet Mohamed Bouazizi has single handedly caused the history books to be re-written and changed the words to I (a)M POSSIBLE.
Once upon a time I believed that ‘I’ could also change the world but then I thought this was a case of Mission IMPOSSIBLE and merely settled for ‘Making a difference’ however small. But now I think of Mohamed Bouazizi and I realise that I can Make a Difference…just a GREATER one by striving to change not only MY world but that of my country.
I (a)M POSSIBLE!
Becoming the Change
So my first venture was warmly received by my nearest and dearest with congratulatory messages coming from quite unexpected corners but all very warmly received. The best response came from my dearest sister who after complimenting my first endeavour asked “When are you gonna finish?” Well, as I am only at the beginning of this journey my response was that this will be an ongoing endeavour with hopes that it will reach a wider audience (I mean I love my friends and family but come on I want a share of the great wwworld.com also).
This second ‘outing’ (gosh I really need to learn blog terminology and FAST) will come as two parts…one been the article I had already written a few months back when my destiny to become a writer (have I told you I intend to write a book someday, the only thing stopping me right now is that I don’t have a clue what kind of book I will write, but heck I do have a title…another story to be told another day…you see I really have reasons for you to keep coming back) became a more tangible reality.
“How so?” I hear you ask, well only in Nigeria ‘The land of opportunity’ does my designated driver for a voluntary work experience turn out to be a retired journalist. A couple days before our time together was due to end and I guess he needed a way to re-tune me back to communicating with him (I had resorted to using my IPod to tune him out after a number of inappropriate comments and suggestions of us stopping for drinks on the way to dropping me home) he asked me if I had considered writing (Heck yes! I have a book title HELLO!!!) and that he could introduce me to some editors to which he made me call his dear friend TIME Magazine Editor (guess he really wanted me to know he wasn’t just bragging) who naturally assumed I was Mr Driver’s PA.
Well we agreed that I would produce two articles which he would then read and forward to his friend (which reminds me I still haven’t heard back from him!!!) hence why ‘My Journey to Relocation Status’ and ‘Survival of the Fittest’ were already written before I decided to go though this route. Well actually that was the catalyst that lead me down this and so many other paths that my life is currently heading towards but then I have never believed in coincidences…
‘Survival of the Fittest!’
After a successful summer of graduation (although I finished my Masters since 2009), falling in love with the most incredible man to ever smile at me and making a contact with a ‘Big Man’ in Education who assured me that my skills and experience as a Social Worker was what he required to transform the poor attainment of students in his state, well it was simply a matter of
London!
HELLO 
There was nothing stopping me, I had found a nice Montessori school right next to what I was reliably informed is the best school in Surulere but turned out on visit not to be the best place for my child. So what if I needed to ‘seek’ my husband’s permission when he had spent the last three months barely fulfilling his duty as a father. It was simply a matter of courtesy to his parents more than anything else; after all in the fifteen months of our separation, his contact with his daughter had being disappointedly sporadic. Hence when permission was duly granted and subsequently revoked a few days before departure, I concluded this would enable him to justify stopping the barely adequate monthly ‘child support’ payments into my bank account.
Too late, my bags were already packed with all the ‘essentials’ (Oreo cookies, Nair hair removal cream and Cheerio) to ensure that this would be a trip home from home for us, a farewell ‘dinner’ was held at Haagen Dazs Ice Cream café and I was ready to go off and be a Consultant!
The fact that the ‘Big Man’ of Education was hardly picking my calls or responding to my email was only slightly worrying, it was just a matter of being on the ground for him to understand how serious I was about the Proposal we had presented to him at the Hilton Paddington. And that the greatest love I had ever imagined was also proving to be not quite the happily ever after fairy tale story I was after and more of those nightmare Nollywood movie kind of love affair was not going to put me off.
Once in Lagos, that my daughter’s school uniform was not ready for the first month went from being slightly disappointing to slightly annoying as the promise of the uniform had been one of the many selling points of our move here and my three year old reminded me of this on a daily basis. Nonetheless the school’s invitation for parents to be educators for the day on Teacher’s day reaffirmed my belief that I had chosen the best environment for my daughter to thrive. Call me bias, but I see so much of the potential that she has and after having paid on a monthly basis for nursery in London, what I paid for a school term here, only for her back then to come home everyday and tell me she again painted and drew ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’, it was now reassuring to see her learning and actually being educated!
Teacher’s day and the return to a classroom was very invigorating for me and I decided that whilst the ‘Big Man’ of Education continued to prove himself just as illusive now that I was on the ground, it was time for a new plan. Besides I was here to work as a Consultant within Education and the educational structures here meant that there was a wide target of private schools that I could approach. In the meantime I continued to make contacts through the NGO that I had met whilst in London and was able to do a small scale project with them on an after school project they have running in Ipaja for a few weeks. So what if my first three months back in the motherland have been characterised by unfulfilled promises and the longest unpaid vacation I have ever been on since I was 16 the main thing is I am back in Lagos and here to stay!
So there you have it the first part but please don’t despair… Part 2’s coming up right now…
Toks finally blogging
Okay so most people who know me would probably say about time! Well this isn’t my first furore into the world of blogging…only my first time I was an accidental participant and ended up an unflattering element of an old friend’s own personal blog…but thats a story to be told another day.
After that experience I decided ‘blogging’ was just people’s way of re-inventing themselves with the wwworld as an audience and pretty much got turned off! Well years later here I am not only right in my initial assessment but actually really wanting to partake in this revolution…okay I got stuck for the word to go there so revolution’s gonna have to do.
My inspiration came from my decision to Relocate back to Nigeria after almost 2 decades of living in the UK. Secondly stumbling upon the blog of a new friend (Blogs and friendship…another topic to be revisited) Jide Salu who it turns out also relocated back to Nigeria after 20 years in UK!!! No frigging way I thought! Well after hours devouring ALL his blogs and requesting him on BB (okay he posted his Pin on his blog so not like it was especially given to just me) BUT he now claims yours truly as his FRIEND though we’re yet to meet! But he has truly being not only a source of inspiration to me but a friend who continually encourages me in realising that this life changing decision I took will only be more satisfying in the long haul!
Well this brings me nicely along to the topic of my first ‘blog’
My Journey to Relocation Status!
Impulsiveness happens to be like second nature to me hence the reason why deciding to make the move back to the motherland was simply a matter of packing up all my fabulous summer clothing and giving away the winter items. Truthfully giving away all my winter clothing was the easiest aspect of my decision, as I was now going to be living in Lagos where there would no longer be a need for me to wear multiple layers of clothing most especially those unflattering thermal vest and tights under my jeans!
Okay so it all started back in April 2006 when I made my first trip to Nigeria in over 5 years, this was the trip I convinced my cousin to take me to Planet 1 to see Dbanj when he was then an unknown and only a handful of guests were there. I went back to London with so much exciting stories to tell but unfortunately unable to show the wonderful pictures I took with Mr Endowed as my camera was stolen right in my brother’s apartment where I had stayed! Nonetheless I was now fuelled with a determination to return to Lagos more regularly depending on how cooperative Virgin was intending to be with me. Following this trip I also decided that I would be making a permanent relocation to Nigeria within 5 years.
This may sound surprising to most but for me it felt very natural, you see I have always been informed by my mother that 1981; the year she had me was one of the coldest winter ever known to England and after been grounded in London for a few more weeks than expected she was finally able to bring me home to Nigeria. Consequently I have always believed that this change from freezing temperatures to the tropical warmth of Lagos acclimatized me to a preference for heat that never allowed me to ever adapt again to the coldness of England in the two decades I resided there.
However following the summer I like to think of as the one before ‘Suddenly’ I was not able to make another trip to Lagos until April 2009 but this trip was so fantastic I promptly crowned it the ‘Summer of Enjoyment’ for my Facebook album download; I was now much smarter in making sure that my camera was not out of my sight at any time during that trip. Upon my return I now decided that my permanent relocation to the motherland would now be within three years.
Then the end of December 2009 saw what the British headlines reported as ‘Coldest winter for thirty years’ and after finding myself stuck in a snowstorm traffic for over three hours I decided another trip to Lagos was well needed and luckily Virgin were quite cooperative as long as I was willing to wait till New Year’s day to travel. Well that was fine with me as this would give me a couple of days within the bank holidays of Christmas and Boxing day to bribe my mother (paid for her ticket) to go to the place I called “Nonsense Place” formally known as Nigerian High Commission to process the Visas for my daughter and nephew. I no longer required one myself as I had ensured that the Summer of Enjoyment was also worthwhile and I was now a proud member of the dual passport carrying club. Following the extortionate price I paid for a ‘fast’ next day visa application which actually took three days to process, another trip to Ikoyi with the minors was definitely on the agenda. After the initial shock of NEPA taking the light and the relentless bites of the mosquitoes my daughter and nephew promptly enjoyed themselves on this impromptu holiday to ‘Africa’ as my 3-year-old daughter continually called Lagos. Another family trip in April for my brother’s wedding and one in June with my friends more or less sealed the deal of the inevitable return to Lagos for good.
toksyk 